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Dear Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz,

What is you best example of Vogon poetry?

Thank you,

Andrew Mayne

Oh holy prophet of Saron,

Your question fills my heart with joy,

For there are no examples to my mind

More worthy of a Vogon's attention,

Than those of poets, and of poetry.

For what is a poem but a machine,

A machine for turning emotion into money?

That is what the world has been using poems for.

Indeed, the intergalactic civilization could

Grow very close to an ideal state were it not for

The inefficiency of poetry,

Which causes us to leave stars,

Jungles, and lovers behind.

Poets, however, only care

For love and romance,

And heaven, of course.

But a Vogon would appreciate

A poem which was all

These things.

What such a poem might be like

Is anyone's guess.